How to Choose Your First Toy

Buying a first toy can feel awkward. It doesn’t have to be a big decision.

You don’t need the “perfect” product, a huge collection, or a label for what you’re doing. Start with something body-safe, simple to use, and close to how you want to feel.

This is the practical version: what to look for, what you can ignore for now, and how to choose without the pressure.

Start with how you want it to feel

Ignore the 47-setting remote for a moment. Ask a simpler question: what are you actually after?

• Soft and external. Against the body, not inside it. A small vibrator or air-pulse toy is a common first step.
• Fuller, with shape. Something you can hold and move. A smooth dildo, no motor required.
• Both. A simple internal vibrator. Keep the shape modest.
• For a partner, or for you with a partner there. Start with something you can hand over without a briefing. External is usually easier than a shared first insertable.

If you want the short split between “shape you move” and “thing that buzzes”, we wrote that separately: What’s the Difference Between a Dildo and a Vibrator?

External, internal, or not sure

External means the toy stays outside the body — often against the clitoris, perineum, or other sensitive skin. It’s easier to pause, and you can learn what kind of sensation you like without committing to size.

Internal means insertion. That can be wonderful. It is not a test. If you’re curious but tense, start smaller than the internet suggested, use lube, and stop the moment it isn’t good. “More later” is a perfectly fine plan.

Not sure? Start external. You can add a simple insertable once you know you like the idea.

Materials actually matter

This is the unsexy part that saves you headaches. For a first toy, look for a material that is non-porous and clearly named on the product page.

• Body-safe silicone. Usually the best first choice. Soft or firm, easy to wash, and works with water-based lube.
• Glass (borosilicate) or stainless steel. Smooth, firm, and easy to clean. Better once you know you like solid pressure. Glass isn’t “advanced”, but it is less forgiving than silicone if you’re still finding your way.

Be wary of anything that won’t say what it’s made of, or that leans on vague “jelly” or a celebrity name instead of a material. Some of those are harder to clean properly. If the page is clear about silicone, glass, or steel, you’re in better territory.

More on that language here: What “Body-Safe” Actually Means.

Keep the first one simple

Your first toy doesn’t need app control, an extra-cost travel case, or a name that sounds like a sports car. A simple shape, a comfortable size, and one or two speeds will teach you more than something you’re slightly afraid of.

• Size. Smaller than you think, especially for anything internal. You can go bigger later.
• Noise. If you share a wall, a lower-powered external vibe is less of an announcement than a rumbling wand.
• Power. Rechargeable is convenient. Battery toys are fine too — check the product page for what’s included. If it takes batteries, we include them where the product needs them.
• Water. “Splashproof” is not the same as “waterproof”. If you want it in the shower, the page needs to say so clearly. Care notes for charge points are here: How to Look After Rechargeable Intimate Products.

Don’t skip the lube

Lube isn’t a sign that something is wrong. It’s how you make a good toy feel like a good idea.

Water-based lube is the simplest starting point, and the one that usually pairs with silicone toys. Silicone lube lasts longer, but it can damage silicone toys — save it for glass, steel, or skin. If you’re heading towards anal play, use a thicker formula labelled for that, not a thin everyday gel and hope.

The full version is here: A Simple Guide to Intimate Lubricant.

Honest starting points

These are shop paths, not homework. Pick the lane that sounds like you, then ignore the rest of the shelf.

If you want external buzz or air-pulse
A small vibrator or an air-pulse / suction toy is where a lot of people start, especially for clitoral sensation. Look for body-safe silicone, a simple control, and a size you could explain in one sentence.

Have a look at vibrators and air-pulse toys. The wider Toys For Her collection mixes more than first-timer pieces, so use the filters and read the material line on each page.

If you want a simple insertable
A smooth silicone dildo with a gentle taper and a base you can hold. No texture maze. No “most realistic ever” claim. You’re learning what you like.

Start in dildos, and prefer silicone or glass over mystery plastics.

If you’re shopping for male products
A stroker / masturbator is a very common first toy: straightforward, no insertion learning curve, and easy to put down. Sleeves and rings can wait until you know you want them.

See Male Masturbators and Toys For Him. Same rule: named materials, simple shape.

If you’re curious about anal
Three things that matter: a flared base so nothing goes missing, plenty of lube, and a size that looks almost shy. Glass or silicone plugs are easier to learn with than a giant novelty.

Our Anal Toys collection intro covers the flared-base point for a reason. Read it. Then go slower than you think you need to.

How it actually arrives

This is the bit most first-timers worry about.

• Packed in plain, unmarked packaging. No product names and nothing that announces itself on the outside.
• Sent with tracked NZ Post from Auckland. Usually 2–5 business days.
  

The longer version is here: How Discreet Delivery Works in New Zealand. Practical detail also lives on Shipping & Returns.

When it lands
Wash it before you use it. Warm water and mild unscented soap, or a toy cleaner, then let it dry. Charge it if it needs a charge. Put your phone in another room if that helps you stay in your body instead of in a tutorial.

Go slowly. Stop if it isn’t good. That isn’t failing — that’s information

Care, properly: How to Care for Body-Safe Intimate Products.

If you’re still hovering
You don’t need a collection. You need one thing that feels like a kind idea. If a product page is vague about materials, skip it. If two options both look fine, pick the simpler, smaller one and add lube.

Questions about a particular item — email contact@nznaughty.co.nz or use the contact page. We’re a small Auckland shop. We’d rather you ask than guess.

Your pace is the right pace. Start gently, choose clearly, and let it be something that helps you feel good in your own skin.

Check out our Easy First Picks collection